One With Nature

The Bomb: There better be a Conference talk today about why God made so many freakin' birds, because if not I'm gonna go shoot them all.

Life Therapy

Her: Life would be so much easier if we were just stupid. (*high-pitched voice*) 'Let's be happy and bake cookies!!'

Perhaps You Should Stick to Ballet

Her: I just can't sit through baseball games.

Tiny Dancer: We can go together and leave at intermission.

Everyone else: [laughing loudly]

Tiny Dancer: Halftime?

And All She Can Do is Write About It

The Girl: Who's the only one here that actually has a master of science degree, huh?

The Guy: B's almost got his...

Her: Doesn't matter, [The Girl] is the only one with that little piece of paper.

B: Well, when I get my master of science degree I'll be able to launch your little piece of paper into outer space.

I Think It's Actually the Eyes

Her: I have the kind of personality that makes it hard for me to have friends.

A Man, a Plan, a Canal, Panama!

The Girl: You're going on a cruise to Hawaii? Where are you leaving from?

Her: I don't know. I think Florida.

And Your Eggs, Too

Him: What you do with your chicken is your own business.

It's an M 'S' J, Thank You Very Much

The Girl: This is the one time
I actually know what I'm talking about.

Say What?

Me: We are but(t)-hungry pirates.

Ouch

The Girl: For a minute there I thought I was missing something, then I remembered you guys are idiots.

On the Record

Me: I don't know anything, obviously.

Boys are Sensitive

The Guy: It's not your fault you suck, you can't help it.

Him: Just like the handicapped children.